you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
