Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
