I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
