I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
