Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
