i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
