1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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