I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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