Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
