So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
