Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
