I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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