i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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