You made me cry and you don't even care
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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