he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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