All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I touched a dick in church today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
