my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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