Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
