I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
