i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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