I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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