Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
