who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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