just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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