We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
