it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
