she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
