Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
