i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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