She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
