I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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