I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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