addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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