Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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