in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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