"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize