that's an acceptable place to lick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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