the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
