its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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