So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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