Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
