He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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