wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
