Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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