Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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