I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Still dying that you shit outside
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
