i need an iv and a liver transplant
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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