I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
