So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
