it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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