I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm just crazy horny about you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
