I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
