Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
