Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
