forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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