So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently you make a good broom.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
