I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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