Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
cat food counts as protein by the way
it's like heaven, but drunker
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
