how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
