She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
