Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
