Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
