respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
