My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize