I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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